3 Deadly Beliefs that Keep Love Away

Believe it or not–Your thoughts, beliefs, feelings, attitudes, impressions, perceptions, interpretations can be a matter of choice.

If you are like most people, you are unaware of all the moments of automatic choosing that go into your beliefs and your choices all the time, choices that determine the possibilities that will be open or closed to you in your future.

Beliefs can be changed but in order to have something different, you have to do something different. Your current beliefs have created what you have now.

If you want to have a different reality, you have to change your beliefs—and that starts with looking at your thoughts.

Learn to observe yourself and realize that you have the power to alter your perceptions and your reactions—and believe that you can create what you want in your life.

It’s the lack of awareness of our repetitive thoughts and beliefs that cause us to view circumstances as happening to us—that we have no control over.

You can’t have closeness and connection if you feel at the mercy of circumstances or what another person does or doesn’t do. The first step to creating the relationship you want is to become aware of your thoughts and beliefs–especially those that limit you.

Here are some common examples of limiting thoughts and beliefs:

Men are liars, men cheat. Women are cold and frigid. My freedom will be impinged if we become closer. Don’t be affectionate in public. I’ll feel better about myself if I had a hair transplant. I’m over 50 and I can never be attractive again and no one will want me. I’m too old to find love. It’s too late for us. She’ll/he’ll never change. All men are the same. Things will be better if we can just get the kids out of the house. Men don’t listen. Women boss you around. Men aren’t emotional. Women are too emotional. If I open my heart again, I’ll just get hurt.


Here are the 3 biggest and deadliest beliefs that kill relationships and keep love away…


1. “I’m not good enough”

When you believe that you’re not good enough, it seeps into every part of your life, including your relationships. When you believe that you’re not good enough, you shrink and don’t show up as the full you that you can be. You aren’t friendly, you keep to yourself and you limit yourself and what you do. Even if love does find you, you might shove it away because you believe that you don’t deserve it.

2.”Everyone leaves me”

When you believe that everyone leaves you, you will sabotage every relationship that gets to the commitment stage because underneath, you unconsciously think that it’s better to leave first before someone leaves you. This belief is so dangerous because the other person often has no idea that it’s happening and wonder how things got so messed up when they seemed to be going so well. You might be equally puzzled why the relationship fell apart as ones before it did.

3. “You should be different”

This belief is a definite killer of relationships and love. The fact is that we’re all different and we all come to relationships with our own “rules” and beliefs about how we want our lives and relationships to be. When we close down to listening to how another wants to live– when we demand that it be “our” way–we shut down our partner and pretty soon resentment creeps in and the arguments and anger start.

If you can identify with any of these, run–don’t walk–to becoming aware of how they show up in your relationship. When you think a thought that is similar to any of these beliefs, stop yourself and plant a more empowering thought that will bring you what you want.

Relationships aren’t rocket science but they do take nurturing and monitoring our thoughts and actions so that we’re moving toward what we want rather than away from what we want.


By: Susie and Otto Collins


  1. Name * wrote:

    This was such a wake up call. I broke up with my ex about a year ago, but moving on seemed to be so hard because in my mind i always thot we belonged together, n that in time he will also realise this. This was till i got a shock of my life, he had moved on, n he has found someone he wants to spend the rest of his life with. It broke my heart, but i realized that some of our believes actualy criple us without us realising it